I had an appointment regarding my Type One Diabetes this afternoon. I haven’t been taking care of myself since coming back to Dundee after Christmas, and according to my facial expression the consultant knew this straight away.
I have gradually been feeling worse over the last few weeks. I was getting thirstier; my breath was smelling “acidic” (this was the worst part, trust me); and I was finding it harder to concentrate and stay awake – all symptoms of ketoacidosis (which is what diabetics get when they are receiving no insulin). Eventually on Saturday, after eating a takeaway, I passed out. That was when I realised I needed to get a grip. I explained to the doc that I’d been completely off insulin for a fortnight, and whilst I know this is extremely dangerous, Dr Kelly told me that he was surprised I hadn’t died by now. Lol. We discussed why I hadn’t been taking my insulin, what the immediate effects are as well as the long term consequences. When he told me that I could have been so close to dying, I realised that I couldn’t put myself or anyone else through that again. Obviously, Dr Kelly knows that I want to be healthy again, and he said that he is confident – judging by the way I was reflecting back on the last few weeks- that I’ll begin to look after myself again. He said it isn’t uncommon to see people at my stage of their diabetes to want to try living like a non diabetic again, but also that I need a kick up the arse. I need motivation to get back on track, but I’m struggling to find it. Dr Kelly suggested writing the pros and cons of both taking and not taking my insulin and referring back to it when I’m having a bad day. I asked him if there was anyone I could see in Dundee to encourage me to take the insulin and he has referred me to a psychologist based in Dundee. Ultimately, I reckon the reason for neglecting my diabetes is down to being an angsty teenager and a lazy student. A good analogy is like trying to start a diet; it’s so easy just to wait until my next meal, or the next day or week. Similarly, even when I’m trying my hardest to keep my diabetes under control, there are still days when my blood sugars are still out of control – so what’s the point?