I wonder if I’d still be playing music if I hadn’t met the Wah Wahs. I wonder how different my life would be – what would I be doing right now instead of writing about them? Probably sleeping, it’s pretty late.
I’ve had an crazy weekend and I’m in desperate need of a day off. On Friday we had a gig in a small rock-and-roll bar followed by drunken shenanigans; and Saturday was another night of mass drinking, which led to a long, deep chat with Alan. The Wah Wahs are a quiet bunch, and generally few words are needed to express what we are feeling – so this chat was a nice change for me. A drunken me confessed that I’m intimidated by all three members of the band. They’re the sort of guys who I would have been jealous of at school: the cool ‘band guys’ everyone wanted to know. The funny part is that Alan was confused, because apparently he feels the same about me.
Sam’s mum always says that the four of us have a ‘bond’ which you only make from creating and playing music together. Perhaps this is accurate for the other guys in the band, but I’m not 100% on board with that theory yet. To back this up (and whilst it’s on my mind) I’ll mention that someone recently picked up on the fact that I often refer to The Wah Wahs as ‘them’ as opposed to an’us’ that includes me. Perhaps I subconsciously don’t believe that I ‘fit’ in The Wah Wahs.
I’m unsure whether to add colour to and add colour to my painting (see right). The black and white figure seems isolated on the front of the stage. I wonder if the other guys feel like this sometimes? I feel most comfortable when I’m on stage.
I’m clearly a small basic white girl trying to be a part of a group of 3 very unique young men. I don’t lack self esteem – I think I’m great, I really do – but there are just so many differences between me and the other guys. Our age is one thing: I’m still a typical 2nd year student adjusting to change and taking full advantage of Skint Tuesdays. Sam has already graduated whilst Alan and Jiggy don’t have many years left of studying. In addition, I occasionally feel detatched because I’m a girl in a large group of males. Nor do I fit in with the Wah Wahs’ aesthetic. Look how similar they all look! No one else I know is that tall and slim – they even dress similarly!
Conversely, seemingly the Wah Wah’s feel similarly about me. Maybe to them I’m the cool girl who likes to mingle; they think I have little words to say to them, when in reality I’m just shy.
We discussed recently that it’s a stroke of luck how all four of us so conveniently met. Maybe it fate. No, I doubt that – but I wonder if I would still have met the Wah Wahs if we hadn’t bumped into each other through music?
Wah Wah Wah Wah Wah Wah